Fifty Shades of Grey Mice

[kolemath]

Hey, Todd.  I must admit some trouble with this one.  I see the nursery rhyme connection of running blindfolded and the knife cutting off mice tails in the end, but I guess my trouble is with the farmer's wife, (if this is remotely close to the poem's intended meaning).  I didn't read the S&M novel either, so maybe that's my trouble.  I like the lines by themselves, but I'm still reaching or a unified theme to connect them.

--Three blind mice, three blind mice


She wanted to be the only voice
in the universe to divide
dark from light--like God. great biblical allusion. it makes sense for a farmer's wife wanting to kill squeeking mice too
In the beginning, she used bats i like leanne's idea about the beginning in the beginning; this fits with the biblical reference too
but found they saw better without eyes. here's my first issue with connecting the meaning of sentences; by itself, this is an interesting line, but how do bats connect to hunting mice? is there a character allusion/connection i'm missing
We were blindfolded as we ran
through the hedgerow maze a row as a maze, interesting choice
past roses blooming in a perpetual night. good imagery, i take this as mice running
Beauty painted with a thorn's brush good sonics brush/bush ambiguity, but i'm not sure i get enough speed for running mice in these lines
against our skin. There was no red i like all the reference to red in these lines, which i take to be running from death
word hovering over the waters from rows of roses to waters, how did the mice get here?
that we might speak to stop
the descent of the knife. How can the biblical allusions come back in here? they seem abandoned after the first two sentences; god banishing from paradise?

~~


*Very old NaPM poem with a few updates.

thanks for sharing todd. this critique took a few readings on my part. i'm hope i'm not out here in left field.