07-18-2016, 01:20 AM
Can I just say: I love this. I think the poem is beautiful, and you've done such a wonderful job bringing this scene to life and going into meaningful metaphor with it.
I just don't like the word "cope." That's what's throwing me off. I think you do need something after "colors" to wrap up the message, but I would like it to be something that's more from the natural world. Perhaps something that points to a coming back alive after the loss. What I like about cope is that it highlights the tree's continuation in spite of adversity, however I think it could be a stronger with an image that implies that there will be some kind of resurrection of vitality lost.
Who knows. Sorry if this is utterly unhelpful.
But, again, great job.
lizziep
I just don't like the word "cope." That's what's throwing me off. I think you do need something after "colors" to wrap up the message, but I would like it to be something that's more from the natural world. Perhaps something that points to a coming back alive after the loss. What I like about cope is that it highlights the tree's continuation in spite of adversity, however I think it could be a stronger with an image that implies that there will be some kind of resurrection of vitality lost.
Who knows. Sorry if this is utterly unhelpful.
But, again, great job.
lizziep