07-15-2016, 08:47 AM
Your iambic pentameter is a bit shaky in parts.
up"on the Shakespearean stage" (only four feet still), so glitches with the meter throughout: example:
and Bru-tus boot-less knelt in Act Three,
choos-ing the form-u-la-ic writ decree
Of course you may not have meant to write in IP, but you start out in it and it (both stanzas) appears quite often for one to believe otherwise. However this is not a condemnation only an observation. Although due to this, some parts of the lines come off awkwardly. Otherwise a nice little romp.
Best,
dale
up"on the Shakespearean stage" (only four feet still), so glitches with the meter throughout: example:
and Bru-tus boot-less knelt in Act Three,
choos-ing the form-u-la-ic writ decree
Of course you may not have meant to write in IP, but you start out in it and it (both stanzas) appears quite often for one to believe otherwise. However this is not a condemnation only an observation. Although due to this, some parts of the lines come off awkwardly. Otherwise a nice little romp.
Best,
dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.