07-13-2016, 04:21 AM
Loving the little sonic stitches that hold this together, especially the glorious assonance that enriches the true rhyme.
No matter how I shift the way I recite this, the last line always comes up feeling like it's been shortchanged. I am thinking maybe "but how we love this mess we're in" might make it happier.
I am left, rather incongruously, with an absurd image of blokes in Shakespearean wigs elbowing each other out of the way so they can get a beer with Tzara. Or an absinthe, probably. Or a shot of cologne with a porridge chaser, I don't know. And they'd smile and nod at one another, pleasantly oated up to their eyeballs, and say "yes, I see what you mean about casting off the shackles of expectations, but I think it would be much better if you'd just use iambic pentameter. Please pass me one of those herring cookies."
No matter how I shift the way I recite this, the last line always comes up feeling like it's been shortchanged. I am thinking maybe "but how we love this mess we're in" might make it happier.
I am left, rather incongruously, with an absurd image of blokes in Shakespearean wigs elbowing each other out of the way so they can get a beer with Tzara. Or an absinthe, probably. Or a shot of cologne with a porridge chaser, I don't know. And they'd smile and nod at one another, pleasantly oated up to their eyeballs, and say "yes, I see what you mean about casting off the shackles of expectations, but I think it would be much better if you'd just use iambic pentameter. Please pass me one of those herring cookies."
It could be worse