Happiness won't take turns -- edit 1
#6
(07-03-2016, 11:22 AM)dukealien Wrote:  Very nice - I was shocked to learn (while researching something else) that only female bees sting because the sting is a modified ovipositor.  How dare Nauture be so blasted symbolic!
Ha! I had no idea about the female being the one that stings. That is interesting!

(07-03-2016, 04:11 PM)Vanity Wrote:  Hi ! I liked this very much....I love 'beat the heart slower'....and the alliteration is nice stomach/ sours, stimulated /skin, and in particular amped/aching.
I didn't know that bee fact either--how bizarre. But I can feel this little poem. It has pain. It sparks thought...
Great job! V
Hi Vanity! Thanks for letting me know what's working and that it resonated. It always does my heart good when something I write has some staying power with people Big Grin

(07-04-2016, 12:52 PM)Erthona Wrote:  Same thing in humans, stinging and reproduction amount to much the same thing.

Clever poem BTW.


dale
Hysterical
So true, so true!

Thanks for the compliment. Always appreciated.

RiverNotch: yes, the pronouns are bothering me too -- well received. I see that it's not clear whether I'm referring to happiness or the bee. Ugh. Angry This will get addressed in a rewrite, to the best of my ability. I usually try to wait a week before I do a re-write to let things simmer and gel, but I always come back to revise.

Thank you for letting me know what's coming across -- that's very helpful! Thank you.
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Messages In This Thread
Happiness won't take turns -- edit 1 - by Lizzie - 07-03-2016, 11:09 AM
RE: Happiness won't take turns - by dukealien - 07-03-2016, 11:22 AM
RE: Happiness won't take turns - by Lizzie - 07-05-2016, 03:10 AM
RE: Happiness won't take turns - by Vanity - 07-03-2016, 04:11 PM
RE: Happiness won't take turns - by Erthona - 07-04-2016, 12:52 PM
RE: Happiness won't take turns - by RiverNotch - 07-04-2016, 03:57 PM
RE: Happiness won't take turns - by Lizzie - 07-07-2016, 09:22 AM
RE: Happiness won't take turns - by RiverNotch - 07-07-2016, 03:22 PM



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