Happiness won't take turns -- edit 1

[Lizzie]

Very nice - I was shocked to learn (while researching something else) that only female bees sting because the sting is a modified ovipositor.  How dare Nauture be so blasted symbolic!

Ha! I had no idea about the female being the one that stings. That is interesting!

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Hi ! I liked this very much....I love 'beat the heart slower'....and the alliteration is nice stomach/ sours, stimulated /skin, and in particular amped/aching.
I didn't know that bee fact either--how bizarre. But I can feel this little poem. It has pain. It sparks thought...
Great job! V

Hi Vanity! Thanks for letting me know what's working and that it resonated. It always does my heart good when something I write has some staying power with people

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Same thing in humans, stinging and reproduction amount to much the same thing.

Clever poem BTW.


dale

So true, so true!

Thanks for the compliment. Always appreciated.

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RiverNotch: yes, the pronouns are bothering me too -- well received. I see that it's not clear whether I'm referring to happiness or the bee. Ugh. This will get addressed in a rewrite, to the best of my ability. I usually try to wait a week before I do a re-write to let things simmer and gel, but I always come back to revise.

Thank you for letting me know what's coming across -- that's very helpful! Thank you.