Happiness won't take turns -- edit 1

Happiness won't take turns -- edit 1

Vanity Offline

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Posts: 33
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07-03-2016, 04:11 PM

(07-03-2016, 11:09 AM)lizziep Wrote: Time to contract, to burn lower. Beat the heart slower.
Its stimulated skin peels and its stomach sours.
The bee has pulled out but it's still unfurled,
heated and female, amped and aching.

Hi ! I liked this very much....I love 'beat the heart slower'....and the alliteration is nice stomach/ sours, stimulated /skin, and in particular amped/aching.
I didn't know that bee fact either--how bizarre. But I can feel this little poem. It has pain. It sparks thought...
Great job! V

"Why do you suppose we only feel compelled to chase the ones who run away?" -Vicomte de Valmont, Dangerous Liasons

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Messages In This Thread

Happiness won't take turns -- edit 1 - by Lizzie - 07-03-2016, 11:09 AM

RE: Happiness won't take turns - by dukealien - 07-03-2016, 11:22 AM

RE: Happiness won't take turns - by Lizzie - 07-05-2016, 03:10 AM

RE: Happiness won't take turns - by Vanity - 07-03-2016, 04:11 PM

RE: Happiness won't take turns - by Erthona - 07-04-2016, 12:52 PM

RE: Happiness won't take turns - by RiverNotch - 07-04-2016, 03:57 PM

RE: Happiness won't take turns - by Lizzie - 07-07-2016, 09:22 AM

RE: Happiness won't take turns - by RiverNotch - 07-07-2016, 03:22 PM

RE: Happiness won't take turns -- edit 1 - by Lizzie - 07-29-2016, 05:17 AM

RE: Happiness won't take turns -- edit 1 - by RiverNotch - 07-30-2016, 01:01 PM

RE: Happiness won't take turns -- edit 1 - by Lizzie - 07-30-2016, 03:29 PM

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