07-02-2016, 02:55 PM
I made the recommended changes to the first stanza, and now I think that the punctuation is off. I'm not sure, honestly. I like having "synchronized" set off like that because of how it sets up "so streamlined" later on. Hmmmmm...
Leanne, than you so much for telling me that it resonated. When someone tells me that, it makes all of my efforts worthwhile. It's my reason for writing.
And thank you also for the great suggestion about how to mimic the tick-tock -- great call!
Achebe, I had to make sure I was reading the right thread for a minute there!
Thank you for the gracious comments. Don't worry though, I'm sure I'll go back to disappointing you again in no time! 
just mercedes, thanks for commenting, and I'll remember what you said about the voice. That's good advice.
Leanne, than you so much for telling me that it resonated. When someone tells me that, it makes all of my efforts worthwhile. It's my reason for writing.
And thank you also for the great suggestion about how to mimic the tick-tock -- great call!Achebe, I had to make sure I was reading the right thread for a minute there!
Thank you for the gracious comments. Don't worry though, I'm sure I'll go back to disappointing you again in no time! just mercedes, thanks for commenting, and I'll remember what you said about the voice. That's good advice.