The Watch Man -- version 1.1

[just mercedes]

I enjoyed this poem - my Dad was a watchmaker, so the first strophe pulled me right in. I'd think of losing 'the' in the 2nd, 3rd, 4th and 5th lines. Good advice from others already - not much to add, except think of making your poem less passive, away from the 'Your beliefs are written...' and into 'You write your beliefs' so that your protagonist is more active throughout the poem.