07-01-2016, 01:27 AM
RN,
Great, great critique.
There are a few explanatory things. The "I" at the start of most of the lines is to signify the total self absorption and self centeredness of the addict.
There are plastic as well as glass syringes, addicts, especially speed or cocaine tend to use 100 unit insulin syringes, so I wanted to note that, so no one was thinking I was talking about the era when heroin addicts had "kits" that had glass tubes and reusable surgical steel needles. It's a small thing, but it points to the culture. Plus the visual effect is different when looking through plastic versus glass.
In terms of the "I have", it was an attempt to mimic liturgy. Sonic I agree that "I've", would work better and probably only need that once.
"transubstantiated" (sic) but I still love it.
On the correlation to Christ. This is not allegorical and so there is none. This more references those people who have not been Christ, yet who have developed stigmata. Christ did not have stigmata. The line:
"I need no Romans, nor a Pilot, nor a Judas."
Simply means I need no one to force me to sacrifice myself to my "god", which is this case is the drug. So in this one point I would have to disagree with you, there is no Christ connection or symbolism going on. However, if you really think there is, let me know and I will eradicate it, as that is not my intent.
Thanks especially for the "'Pilate'. Pilot" quite embarrassing that.
As I said, great, great critique and it is much appreciated. I will make many changes based on this.
dale
Great, great critique.
There are a few explanatory things. The "I" at the start of most of the lines is to signify the total self absorption and self centeredness of the addict.
There are plastic as well as glass syringes, addicts, especially speed or cocaine tend to use 100 unit insulin syringes, so I wanted to note that, so no one was thinking I was talking about the era when heroin addicts had "kits" that had glass tubes and reusable surgical steel needles. It's a small thing, but it points to the culture. Plus the visual effect is different when looking through plastic versus glass.
In terms of the "I have", it was an attempt to mimic liturgy. Sonic I agree that "I've", would work better and probably only need that once.
"transubstantiated" (sic) but I still love it.
On the correlation to Christ. This is not allegorical and so there is none. This more references those people who have not been Christ, yet who have developed stigmata. Christ did not have stigmata. The line:
"I need no Romans, nor a Pilot, nor a Judas."
Simply means I need no one to force me to sacrifice myself to my "god", which is this case is the drug. So in this one point I would have to disagree with you, there is no Christ connection or symbolism going on. However, if you really think there is, let me know and I will eradicate it, as that is not my intent.
Thanks especially for the "'Pilate'. Pilot" quite embarrassing that.
As I said, great, great critique and it is much appreciated. I will make many changes based on this.
dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.