06-30-2016, 08:09 AM
Hey Lizzie,
I apologize I didnt even see that you replied to me, but basically I felt like this was a pity poem. The narrator wanted nothing but for the reader to feel sorry for them. That's the message I got. Poems like the these are great for self-expression, or getting over some sort of traumatic event, but they generally tend to hold little weight in terms of value. I personally want a poem I can read again and again.
And the ideas of ways to rewrite are just that, ideas, nothing more. I'm not saying it'd be better if written whatever way, I'm just saying the way it reads currently does not work for me, so I offered some ideas of some new way to work with this one, since it currently does nothing for me.
Achebe addressed the rest of your concerns so I'll leave it at that,
mike
I apologize I didnt even see that you replied to me, but basically I felt like this was a pity poem. The narrator wanted nothing but for the reader to feel sorry for them. That's the message I got. Poems like the these are great for self-expression, or getting over some sort of traumatic event, but they generally tend to hold little weight in terms of value. I personally want a poem I can read again and again.
And the ideas of ways to rewrite are just that, ideas, nothing more. I'm not saying it'd be better if written whatever way, I'm just saying the way it reads currently does not work for me, so I offered some ideas of some new way to work with this one, since it currently does nothing for me.
Achebe addressed the rest of your concerns so I'll leave it at that,
mike
Crit away