No Sunshine Edit 1.0000000 Dale

[tectak]

Why is there a comma between "no warm, moist kiss"?

Overall I think this version is much better, especially the clarity on the heartbeat part.


dale

Coordinate Adjectives Versus Cumulative Adjectives

The comma rule comes down to the difference between two kinds of adjectives: coordinate adjectives and cumulative adjectives. Coordinate adjectives are adjectives in a row that each separately modify the noun that follows (1), as in “heavy, bulky box.” Both “heavy” and “bulky” modify “box.” You can even rearrange the adjectives and say, “bulky, heavy box.”

That is why BUT I have no strong views with only two modifiers. With two cumulative adjectives conventional wisdom suggests that the "last before noun" pairs adjective and noun together. Hmmm. Maybe.
Personally, I used it to emphasise the "succulence" as in warm, moist scone. It is no more a "moistscone" than a "moistkiss" and so the comma slows the thing down by adding to the lasciviousness...if that makes sense.
Best,
tectak