06-21-2016, 10:41 PM
In the last verse, should the first semi-colon be a colon, and the second a comma? The rhyme of "waves" and "days" in the third verse feels amateurish because it's unsupported by a distinctive and consistent meter. Otherwise, I liked this poem. It makes an intriguing and entertaining progression from irreverence to seriousness and even tragedy. Thank you for the read
"We believe that we invent symbols. The truth is that they invent us; we are their creatures, shaped by their hard, defining edges." - Gene Wolfe