morning meditation

[RiverNotch]

Thank guys. Appreciate the comments. What about a flip?

a robin shits –
morning meditation
by the strawberry patch

I think you're better off with 'by the strawberry patch' as the middle line because it works as a pivot line as it can be read forwards, backwards, spun around. Also I would definitely keep the robin and his shit for the last line without question, surprises work better when nothing else comes after and the reader has no choice but to linger on that thought. Put it at the beginning and it will have less impact and be diluted by the other two lines.

Now I really want strawberries hmmm

Mark

And I want a shit