No Sunshine.

[tectak]

The intitial pattern set is as follows.

I painted out the sunshine with a brush of broom and briar (seven of iambs)  
but the birds still sang above the sage marquee.  (anapest, 4 iambs)

However by line six...

damply, like a dream that wakes but why, you never know. (7 feet of trochee)

The pattern breaks down, although there are brief attempts at return. However the lines never regain constancy in relation to one another, even if briefly they almost look as though they individually might be returning to form.

Maybe I am not reading this correctly, but trying to follow what seems to be the reflective self, observing the physical self, becomes a bit of a maze:

"I tried to listen downwards where the silence used to be,
in the places where my footfall stopped, I lay."

What this line sounds like is that the speaker is walking across his own grave. I'm not sure that is what is meant, in fact I am fairly certain it is not, but the writing does encourage such an interpretation. Regardless, there is a distinct feeling of death here. The death of who or what is not obvious.

As this is in mild...

dale

Hi dale, good to hear from you. All well I trust?
You are correct on all points which are open to interpretation but I would allow a wide margin of error. Frankly, I put this one where I put it because I only found it yesterday in my "memories of Concerts Past" box which I was throwing out...I cannot remember what it was about BUT Van Morrison , on stage, was whining on about his marriage bust up and trying to convince an excitable audience of the relevance of his songs to his situation...I think I may have been a little excited with whisky when I wrote it. Didn't count the accentual feet...didn't make it rhyme...didn't go for metaphor...didn't go for imagery. Should go down well here.
Best,
tectak. Thanks for reading. I will try to do better.