Torn

[Lizzie]

Hi, Marymic!

You welcome me with one hand
And shun me with the other
How do I know
Whether to open my heart
Or seal it, watertight
 
You want something from me
Things doing, things being
Treasured habits and comfort ways
Which don’t fit my naked me
 
I want things too
To do and be -- 'too,' leading into 'to do' trips me up on each read. I can't get that to flow.
With you in easy softness
Coming out of the cold shadow
To feel felt -- I like this phrasing
And frighteningly safe
 
So I freeze and wait  -- I like the repetition of cold images
until I know
which hand is really you

Overall, I feel like you're telling me what's happening and not showing me. The title leads me to believe that I'm going to read about strong emotion, but that doesn't come across for me. I feel the tension of waiting and not knowing, so maybe it would help for you to clarify the core emotional impact you'd like to have on the reader.

Thanks for the read!

lizziep