06-04-2016, 09:23 PM
Some parting thoughts at this stage - a month or so ago, I critiqued a beautiful piece by RC James, calling it out for its ambiguity, when in fact it was my understanding that was at fault. The poem read beautifully once he explained what it was about.
Ideally, a poet should not have to explain his poem, but this rule works only if the readership is wide and not, as in this case, limited to perhaps 15-20 regular members of a forum.
Also, not every poem will make sense to every reader on the first, second, third, or fourth attempt. I have never understood the literal meaning of Dylan Thomas's 'I see the boys of summer' or TSE's 'East Coker', but I still find the lines magical. So a poem doesn't need to be necessarily intelligible to be appreciated, but it should always be intelligible to the author, and well written enough to be intelligible to any reader with a little guidance (otherwise it's just nice gibberish).
In the case of this poem, I understood what you were trying to say once you pointed out the colours of orthodox iconography. The significance of the azures and reds were lost on me until then. Strangely, I was thinking earlier that 'icon' was meant as a metaphor throughout - but the reason that I thought it a half baked one was that I thought that the colours were thrown in at random. Once I realised that they fit in neatly, my perspective on the poem changed. It's my personal Rivernotch favourite, and one of the seriously good ones on this forum.
So thank you for providing the key, and perhaps do so more often in future.
First person reads just as well, perhaps better. You may not need to change anything.
Supply a picture along with the poem.
Ideally, a poet should not have to explain his poem, but this rule works only if the readership is wide and not, as in this case, limited to perhaps 15-20 regular members of a forum.
Also, not every poem will make sense to every reader on the first, second, third, or fourth attempt. I have never understood the literal meaning of Dylan Thomas's 'I see the boys of summer' or TSE's 'East Coker', but I still find the lines magical. So a poem doesn't need to be necessarily intelligible to be appreciated, but it should always be intelligible to the author, and well written enough to be intelligible to any reader with a little guidance (otherwise it's just nice gibberish).
In the case of this poem, I understood what you were trying to say once you pointed out the colours of orthodox iconography. The significance of the azures and reds were lost on me until then. Strangely, I was thinking earlier that 'icon' was meant as a metaphor throughout - but the reason that I thought it a half baked one was that I thought that the colours were thrown in at random. Once I realised that they fit in neatly, my perspective on the poem changed. It's my personal Rivernotch favourite, and one of the seriously good ones on this forum.
So thank you for providing the key, and perhaps do so more often in future.
First person reads just as well, perhaps better. You may not need to change anything.
Supply a picture along with the poem.
~ I think I just quoted myself - Achebe