06-03-2016, 05:18 PM
oh, yes. the edit makes it much easier to read. although, i am still not quite sure what it means - nope, just read it again, and i'm absolutely sure i don't know what it means. it's a head scratcher. the trouble is, i can't tell if i'm being slow or the poem is being pretentious. . . or if i am being overly critical. maybe a little from column A, B, and C.
i suppose the only technical suggestion i can make is, 'echo' should have the indefinite article 'an'; and if the final line is referring to the ghost in the shell, specifically, then you would do well to say 'is it. . .' instead of 'is there. . .' if not, then i understand it even less than i thought
i suppose the only technical suggestion i can make is, 'echo' should have the indefinite article 'an'; and if the final line is referring to the ghost in the shell, specifically, then you would do well to say 'is it. . .' instead of 'is there. . .' if not, then i understand it even less than i thought
(06-03-2016, 01:39 PM)PoetCraft Wrote: Echo
Lay bare on moonlit water,
Gently sway with salty breeze.
If in every shell resides a ghost,
Is there nothing more than a echo?