05-29-2016, 06:19 PM
It's me again. I was just reading the latest critique and then read through your poem again and noticed something that I had to mention because it's excellent.
We give hope, like Jesus
keeping faith in cult personalities
like Manson.
In this stanza—and I presume it's intentional— Charles Manson is so much the perfect choice because of that surname...
Manson - Son of Man - Jesus Christ
It makes me want to go through the whole poem again very carefully to see if there are any other gems like this.
Cheers, good work
Addition - just thought that by using the method you used in the above stanza you could possibly replace Satan with Lucifer in the first and get a similar effect.
Lucifer ultimately means bringer of light which is the reason why the planet Venus used to be (and sometimes still is) called Lucifer when it appears as the morning star because it rises just before the sun and appears to bring the light. 'Morning Star' was sometimes confused with and called 'Daystar' which is another name for the sun which is ultimately another name for Jesus. Therefore at times in older versions of the new testament Jesus was referred to as Lucifer. Sorry it's all a bit long winded but I thought I should say.
We give hope, like Jesus
keeping faith in cult personalities
like Manson.
In this stanza—and I presume it's intentional— Charles Manson is so much the perfect choice because of that surname...
Manson - Son of Man - Jesus Christ
It makes me want to go through the whole poem again very carefully to see if there are any other gems like this.
Cheers, good work
Addition - just thought that by using the method you used in the above stanza you could possibly replace Satan with Lucifer in the first and get a similar effect.
Lucifer ultimately means bringer of light which is the reason why the planet Venus used to be (and sometimes still is) called Lucifer when it appears as the morning star because it rises just before the sun and appears to bring the light. 'Morning Star' was sometimes confused with and called 'Daystar' which is another name for the sun which is ultimately another name for Jesus. Therefore at times in older versions of the new testament Jesus was referred to as Lucifer. Sorry it's all a bit long winded but I thought I should say.
wae aye man ye radgie