05-25-2016, 11:33 AM
The poem's meaning is good as well as the way it is presented, but I think that there are a few punctuation things. The first thing is that after disbelief, I couldn't tell if you were trying for an ellipses, or to end the line, but it has two periods. Also, if your lines of speech are ending at each stanza, you might want to add periods, but if they aren't, add commas (as well as that spot behind happiness in the third to last stanza.) The message gets to me, though, with the whole idea of helping a person with depression.