05-24-2016, 08:42 PM
I was going to try and give critique but I really just love this - not sure I can express it without sounding OTT but it's really clever and something I resonate with and has a good dose of madness. I really love poetry that uses space too. I don't do it enough, I'm definitely going to keep in mind when I next write a poem. I think the only bit I don't really love is "Were I a Joe,
would I be a plumber?
Were I a Bob,
would I be a builder?" - I don't have a good idea of my own, I just found that bit harder to read when I read it out loud.
would I be a plumber?
Were I a Bob,
would I be a builder?" - I don't have a good idea of my own, I just found that bit harder to read when I read it out loud.