In Sense - Edit2

[dukealien]

In Sense

Edit 2;

Felt, unfocused but intense
pained hyposense from old stitched scars
of whittling knives,
haloed ghosts of sprains and bruises
carelessly earned:
each arthritic ache, rheumatic rue,
silver badge of aging on some godling’s plan
hatched to make heaven worth the dying for.

Heard imperfectly but all too well
enough of fragments, bites
of sound and virulence
sharp as tooth and catty claws:
words slur but perfect pitch
of arrogance, disdain, war spite
streams bright as regimental standards
raised in smoke and fight.

Seen well but badly
some sights should be masked:
vile bodies and those which attract,
not vile which, seen, distract
from duty not to see.

Seen blurred but well,
motion in green astigmatic curls,
prey, predator to chase or dodge
resolve, projected on a lumpy screen:
sense from smeared evidence.

Sense evanesces, boiled away,
dew fled in sunlight,
fallen dust becalmed
without gross things which feel
and others felt:
where is the sense in it
without an “it?”

Focused images, bright sounds replayed
merely mimic recognition,
sister of sense which braids
touch, hearing, sight with context -
understanding, often false,
remains the only truth within our power.

Edit 1;

Seen well but badly
some sights should be masked,
vile bodies and those which attract,
not vile which, seen, distract
from duty not to see.

Seen blurred but well,
motion in green astigmatic curls,
prey, predator to chase or dodge
resolves, projected on a lumpy screen:
sense from smeared evidence.

Feel unfocused but intense
pained hyposense from old stitched scars
of whittling knives,
haloed ghosts of sprains and bruises
carelessly earned, but like
each arthritic ache, rheumatic rue,
silver badge of aging on some godling’s plan
hatched to make heaven worth the dying for.

Hear imperfectly but all too well
enough of fragments, bites
of sound and virulence
sharp as tooth and catty claws.
Words slur but perfect pitch
of arrogance, disdain, war spite
streams bright as regimental standards
in the smoke and fight.

There’s a sense in which
sense evanesces, boils away,
dew fled in sunlight,
fallen dust becalmed
without the gross thing which feels
and the other felt:
where is the sense in it
without an “it?”

Focused images, sounds faithfully replayed
merely facilitate clear recognition,
sister of sense which braids
touch, hearing, sight with context -
understanding, often false,
remains the only truth within our power.


Original version;

I see quite well but badly:
sights that should be masked,
vile bodies, and those which attract,
not vile, which seen, distract
from duty not to see.

I see not well but clearly:
motion in green astigmatic blur,
a bird, a predator, to chase or dodge
resolving on a lumpy screen,
sense from smeared evidence.

I feel, misleading but intense
the hyposense of old, stitched scars
from whittling knives,
haloed ghosts of sprains and bruises
careless earned, but like
each arthritic ache, rheumatic rue,
my badge of aging on some godling’s plan
hatched to make heaven worth the dying for.

I feel true but nearly vanishing,
remembered touch of care,
reticent fingertips, shrinking
smooth otherness, blushing withheld.
Touch in memory,
memory in touch.

There is a sense in which sense evanesces,
boils away, shrinks into nought,
dew fled in sunlight,
dust fallen to earth in a calm
without the gross thing which feels
and the other felt:
where is the sense in it
without an “it?”

I hear imperfectly but all too well:
enough of fragments, bites
of sound and virulence
sharp as tooth and catty claws.
Words blur, but perfect pitch
of arrogance, disdain, war spite
streams unmistakable as regimental Colors
in the smoke and fight.

What we call focus, optical sharpness
which can be measured and perfected
is but analogous to recognition,
sister of sense, connecting
what is felt, heard, seen with context.
Understanding, though it may be false
remains the only truth within our power.

Click "Spoiler" for previous versions

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Not sure if this is just a pointless soup of abstractions, or worth the work of improving.