Adrift

[Ivana]

I miss rhythm and flow in the sentences. I would avoid "because". Don't explain but show. "Sinking ship", "lifeboat" and harbors are a bit of a cliché. If you use those, it should be creatively. Give us something new. I do like how you explore images, but sometimes they are a bit over the top: "balloon in our stomach's like a gentle explosion of
the suns golden energy". I would trim that down a notch. Be creative, but keep it real.