05-07-2016, 07:19 PM
Hi, duke, lovely piece. The only thing that really shook me out of it was china/vietnam. The barn is in ruins and the pallet buried, seems more of the japan/europe import days. Japanese would also suit meterwise better than vietnamese.
I especially like the pallet dreaming of its leaves, I think the poems real strength lies here. I also like the idea of future generations wondering about it.
The opening seemed a little stilted, over modified at first but then it took off so nicely I don't mind it now. Yes, yang and yin a bit of a force, I think I've done that too.
Thanks for the read, good morning.
I especially like the pallet dreaming of its leaves, I think the poems real strength lies here. I also like the idea of future generations wondering about it.
The opening seemed a little stilted, over modified at first but then it took off so nicely I don't mind it now. Yes, yang and yin a bit of a force, I think I've done that too.
Thanks for the read, good morning.
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