Parted (Edit #1)

[ellajam]

Hi, UB, running with Achebe's #5, some suggestions below.

There is a picture
on my shelf, You might use a descriptive before shelf, develope the setting.
made by a former lover, You could drop "former" and leave that disconnection for later, develope some emotion first so I feel the pain of the loss.
in which a crown
sits on my head
as it would on a king. I would comma after head and have this line just "a king." The "as it would be" just washes out the emotion from an interesting image and strong spark of ideas, how she must have loved, idolized or felted enslaved by you, many possibilities here, nice.

She, having parted from my side,
prefers to erase that past.
These lines are weak for me, they seem to read her mind when you no longer know it but the erase is nice vs the pic she made, if you want to explore this I would drop it to the end.

I must acknowledge
it, keep it close, there
on my shelf, beside the cordial invitation
to the party where we had our last kiss.
"I...shelf" don't add anything for me and weakens the impact. The idea of an end at a public event is interesting, for me implies a less intimate relationship than the N perceives, interesting.

You've got something to work with here if you want to pare down the words that don't add something, or make them add something, and develope your image a bit more. Good luck with it.