04-15-2016, 08:07 PM
Hi, Luna, if you read around the sight or the Important Threads you'll see that the preferred way to post an edit is by placing it above the original in the OP, this way readers new to the thread can crit the current version, reading the entire thread first is not required and for some not preferable.
I can't decide whether the entire, sturdy vine has toppled, a disaster, or the rain has beat the delicate petals off and they are now a blanket on the ground, a beautiful site that happens sometimes, a bit sad that they are no longer hang but under the umbrella of Shit Happens.
I don't mind that I can't decide, I'm a fan of anything that gets me thinking about it. I think the word heavy is what leads me to the whole vine detaching even though I can see it describes the rain. If you'd like me to see it one way or the other you might edit those lines a bit, if you were aiming for both, well done.
Quote:the wisteria falls to the ground
heavy from rain
I can't decide whether the entire, sturdy vine has toppled, a disaster, or the rain has beat the delicate petals off and they are now a blanket on the ground, a beautiful site that happens sometimes, a bit sad that they are no longer hang but under the umbrella of Shit Happens.
I don't mind that I can't decide, I'm a fan of anything that gets me thinking about it. I think the word heavy is what leads me to the whole vine detaching even though I can see it describes the rain. If you'd like me to see it one way or the other you might edit those lines a bit, if you were aiming for both, well done.
billy wrote:welcome to the site. make it your own, wear it like a well loved slipper and wear it out. ella pleads:please click forum titles for posting guidelines, important threads. New poet? Try Poetic DevicesandWard's Tips

