NaPM April 14 2016

NaPM April 14 2016

just mercedes
Unregistered

04-14-2016, 05:29 PM

(04-14-2016, 04:08 PM)Heslopian Wrote: The shape and rhythm of the poem are admirably controlled. My one quibble would be that "adhered" doesn't work with "from" in the second verse. (It should be "adhered to", which of course opposes your meaning.) Perhaps "sundered" would be better? Just a thought, and maybe I'm wrong about the context.

Hey thanks. The 'from' refers to the shredded flesh, but I can see how that's a bit confusing. I'll have to think more about it.

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Messages In This Thread

NaPM April 14 2016 - by milo - 04-14-2016, 11:43 AM

RE: NaPM April 14 2016 - by just mercedes - 04-14-2016, 12:51 PM

RE: NaPM April 14 2016 - by Todd - 04-14-2016, 01:12 PM

RE: NaPM April 14 2016 - by just mercedes - 04-14-2016, 01:33 PM

RE: NaPM April 14 2016 - by heslopian - 04-14-2016, 04:08 PM

RE: NaPM April 14 2016 - by just mercedes - 04-14-2016, 05:29 PM

RE: NaPM April 14 2016 - by billy - 04-14-2016, 06:05 PM

RE: NaPM April 14 2016 - by cidermaid - 04-14-2016, 06:26 PM

RE: NaPM April 14 2016 - by Tracy Mitchell - 04-15-2016, 12:19 AM