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NaPM April 14 2016
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04-14-2016, 04:08 PM
The shape and rhythm of the poem are admirably controlled. My one quibble would be that "adhered" doesn't work with "from" in the second verse. (It should be "adhered to", which of course opposes your meaning.) Perhaps "sundered" would be better? Just a thought, and maybe I'm wrong about the context.
"We believe that we invent symbols. The truth is that they invent us; we are their creatures, shaped by their hard, defining edges." - Gene Wolfe
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NaPM April 14 2016 - by milo - 04-14-2016, 11:43 AM
RE: NaPM April 14 2016 - by just mercedes - 04-14-2016, 12:51 PM
RE: NaPM April 14 2016 - by Todd - 04-14-2016, 01:12 PM
RE: NaPM April 14 2016 - by just mercedes - 04-14-2016, 01:33 PM
RE: NaPM April 14 2016 - by heslopian - 04-14-2016, 04:08 PM
RE: NaPM April 14 2016 - by just mercedes - 04-14-2016, 05:29 PM
RE: NaPM April 14 2016 - by billy - 04-14-2016, 06:05 PM
RE: NaPM April 14 2016 - by cidermaid - 04-14-2016, 06:26 PM
RE: NaPM April 14 2016 - by Tracy Mitchell - 04-15-2016, 12:19 AM
RE: NaPM April 14 2016 - by LunaDeLore - 04-15-2016, 01:04 AM
RE: NaPM April 14 2016 - by Keith - 04-15-2016, 02:36 AM
RE: NaPM April 14 2016 - by Todd - 04-15-2016, 03:27 AM
RE: NaPM April 14 2016 - by Leanne - 04-15-2016, 05:32 AM
RE: NaPM April 14 2016 - by bedeep - 04-15-2016, 07:15 AM
RE: NaPM April 14 2016 - by Leanne - 04-15-2016, 05:59 AM
RE: NaPM April 14 2016 - by billy - 04-15-2016, 10:22 AM
RE: NaPM April 14 2016 - by billy - 04-15-2016, 10:23 AM
RE: NaPM April 14 2016 - by just mercedes - 04-15-2016, 10:26 AM
RE: NaPM April 14 2016 - by QDeathstar - 04-15-2016, 10:30 AM
RE: NaPM April 14 2016 - by billy - 04-15-2016, 01:03 PM
RE: NaPM April 14 2016 - by Tiger the Lion - 04-15-2016, 12:47 PM
RE: NaPM April 14 2016 - by QDeathstar - 04-15-2016, 01:15 PM
RE: NaPM April 14 2016 - by billy - 04-15-2016, 05:05 PM
RE: NaPM April 14 2016 - by RiverNotch - 04-15-2016, 08:26 PM
RE: NaPM April 14 2016 - by Leanne - 04-16-2016, 06:25 AM
RE: NaPM April 14 2016 - by Achebe - 04-16-2016, 06:12 PM
RE: NaPM April 14 2016 - by bedeep - 04-16-2016, 06:59 PM
RE: NaPM April 14 2016 - by RiverNotch - 04-17-2016, 12:21 AM
RE: NaPM April 14 2016 - by Achebe - 04-17-2016, 06:02 AM
RE: NaPM April 14 2016 - by bedeep - 04-17-2016, 06:06 AM
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