Sonnet #3: Lives lived in vain

[babymonkey]

I like your poem. I think you did a marvelous job with the rhyme and meter. It is not easy to write a sonnet without making it sound forced. I admire your ability to fit all the words neatly into the sonnet, one of the most challenging forms for many writers. Your poem flows well. The only issue I see is that it reads more like an essay of some sort than a poem. May be you would like to use some metaphors to oomph the poem a little. It seems flat to my ears right now.

Nice work over all.