04-13-2016, 05:08 AM
Hi taratica,
I think you've gotten some great advice already. So this might be redundant but I think you've got your mind wrapped around the argumentation, and there are moments where you get lost in hyperbole "vile villains", "scores of innocents", "viscous ideologies of strife". All of this may be true, but the execution through argumentation makes it appear overdone and false. Like most writing, narrow the lens to one specific story, one atrocity. Let us see and experience that story and have it represent the greater issue.
I hope that helps some. Glad to have you on the site!
Todd
I think you've gotten some great advice already. So this might be redundant but I think you've got your mind wrapped around the argumentation, and there are moments where you get lost in hyperbole "vile villains", "scores of innocents", "viscous ideologies of strife". All of this may be true, but the execution through argumentation makes it appear overdone and false. Like most writing, narrow the lens to one specific story, one atrocity. Let us see and experience that story and have it represent the greater issue.
I hope that helps some. Glad to have you on the site!
Todd
The secret of poetry is cruelty.--Jon Anderson