04-13-2016, 01:07 AM
Musings of an Aging Megafauna Cryptid
They think I don’t poop enough, or toss my trash
into the ravine, or light fires when it is cold. They
leave my libraries at bay and trek my cathedrals
without noticing. Without chains of empty bottles
they say there can’t be enough of me to propagate.
My fellow bipeds are obsessed with out-thinking
each other and themselves. They say I am most
certainly a hoax, or rather a series of hoaxes spread
hundreds of years across the Pacific Northwest.
The conspiracy folk designate me a member of
The Simian Order of the Hominidae. For straight.
But nobody who lives indoors believes their lies.
Seriously, we never needed a big ‘breeding population’
as they call it. We make the rabbits seem barren
by comparison, and I make bulls look impotent.
Russian, and Halkomelem before, now English, each
have their words for me - Big Foot, Yeti, Sasquatch,
and for some reason even the Latins, whoever they are,
as well: Meganthropus, Paranthropus, and may
God help me - Homo Heidelbergensis. If that one
ever sticks, when you see me just call me ‘Homey’.
They think I don’t poop enough, or toss my trash
into the ravine, or light fires when it is cold. They
leave my libraries at bay and trek my cathedrals
without noticing. Without chains of empty bottles
they say there can’t be enough of me to propagate.
My fellow bipeds are obsessed with out-thinking
each other and themselves. They say I am most
certainly a hoax, or rather a series of hoaxes spread
hundreds of years across the Pacific Northwest.
The conspiracy folk designate me a member of
The Simian Order of the Hominidae. For straight.
But nobody who lives indoors believes their lies.
Seriously, we never needed a big ‘breeding population’
as they call it. We make the rabbits seem barren
by comparison, and I make bulls look impotent.
Russian, and Halkomelem before, now English, each
have their words for me - Big Foot, Yeti, Sasquatch,
and for some reason even the Latins, whoever they are,
as well: Meganthropus, Paranthropus, and may
God help me - Homo Heidelbergensis. If that one
ever sticks, when you see me just call me ‘Homey’.