03-30-2016, 07:51 PM
This is a fairly juvenile poem, it is based on "self" and/or self-centeredness. I this, I that. Basically grandiose. It puts self in the god role, but at best it is a petty god.
"I burn, I blind, I am doubt, I call you ugly, I lie to myself, I love myself, I bury myself, but I
rise as well."
So on the one hand, if the speaker is human, he is grandiose, if he is a god he is petty, although able to do things beyond human, he also embodies the worst aspect of being human.
So for me it is difficult to grasp the point of this poem. It certainly needs some thought to decide where the focus will be.
Best,
dale
PS Free write may be a great way to practice, but the chances of creating a poem of worth are slim to none. I would suggest using what you get from the free write, then polishing it to something worthy of posting and critiquing.
"I burn, I blind, I am doubt, I call you ugly, I lie to myself, I love myself, I bury myself, but I
rise as well."
So on the one hand, if the speaker is human, he is grandiose, if he is a god he is petty, although able to do things beyond human, he also embodies the worst aspect of being human.
So for me it is difficult to grasp the point of this poem. It certainly needs some thought to decide where the focus will be.
Best,
dale
PS Free write may be a great way to practice, but the chances of creating a poem of worth are slim to none. I would suggest using what you get from the free write, then polishing it to something worthy of posting and critiquing.
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.