I don't know

[Erthona]

What Achebe said plus:
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I don’t know how to tell you this.
You, the embodiment of cuteness,
With smile, you crumble the darkness,
With care, you can melt even the north pole. (hyperbole is fine, but this is way over the top, it makes the line a farce.)


I don’t know how to tell you this.
I have been loving you since we met.
It is wrong, they said.
She has a boyfriend, they opposed. (awkward and redundant)


I don’t know how to tell you this. (Once is enough)
I envy the guy you love.
Just be him for one day, I wish. (inversion)
(I want) To hold you tightly (and) to be loved by you. (two dependant clauses do not make a sentence. The stanza sounds a little like the Lady Antebellum song, but not as good.)


I don’t know how to tell you this.
Impossible, unfeasible, I notice. (also not a sentence)
Like two poles of magnet, we attracted.
Like oil and water, we can’t mix.  (these are the two best lines in the poem, although saying like twice needs to be rectified.)


I know how to tell you this. (comma)
I love you with all my heart. (cliche, but OK here)
I care for you with all my feeling. (need something fresh, not another cliche)
I truly wish the world for you.(cliche)

Best,

dale