Mayfly (Revised)

[Ashok1]

Really nice. A few thoughts
Ashok

I watch you flutter in the mid-day sun
so innocent of how you came to be;

so beautiful; a sight for any one How about “ethereal” to replace “So beautiful”. In which case the previous line might end in a semicolon as shown

who has the time, and will, to stand and see

the rainbow colours in your fragile wings. I agree delete “colours” . How about “the gossamer rainbow in ….

Then as you dart within warm beams of light, Very nice. I agree perhaps put a comma after “then”

It seems to me, the whole of nature sings “it seems to me”. The poem is experiential, so maybe no need to state it, but not sure what one would replace it with
How about replacing “the whole of nature” with “that Nature’s choir”

its song, and gently shares in my delight.

I know there was a time of cruelty “cruelty” seems a little harsh- how about “a darker, harsher time”?

when you would kill in order to survive.
I understand, I know it had to be

in order that this pleasant day arrive. “pleasant” seems a little weak

So have no guilt my pretty little one;
accept your day of life under the sun.