03-01-2016, 04:34 PM
It's strange to see a poem with raw and uncensored language that feigns some sort of politeness (in my opinion) with punctuation and capitalization. I'm less bothered by the capitalization, but the senseless punctuation makes it a disaster to read. You seem to be ending sentences with commas. The ellipses at the end is infuriating. First there are only two full stops, then there are four that follow the exclamation point. Given how the rest of the poem is structured, I'd just replace those with line breaks.
If you're the smartest person in the room, you're in the wrong room.
"Or, if a poet writes a poem, then immediately commits suicide (as any decent poet should)..." -- Erthona
"Or, if a poet writes a poem, then immediately commits suicide (as any decent poet should)..." -- Erthona