Impatience

[Achebe]

IMPATIENCE

Oh! that I should die today,
and leave my sins behind --
and leave the Jacob's ladder,
the holy mount, unclimbed?
I know I shall not die a saint --
the summit fails my pride.
But I shall die a champion still,
and leave a will unsigned!

Would you really be impatient to die today just to avoid becoming a better man? Surely, if you wanted to remain a 'sinner', you'd love life enough to not want to die. I can't understand the poem's logic.
Otherwise, nice pome.