02-19-2016, 11:55 PM
I am new the platform and please forgive me if I have made mistake in reviewing your material.
I could see a Vision in your poem and I love poets who use poem (any art for that matter ) as a tool to convey their vision rather than writing poem for just the sake of it, You know like "I know to do this style".
It's well written for me but lacked a little clarity at few parts.
I found that pre poem explanation a little odd, as a reader I prefer to read the poem first and find my own truth in it and after that may be read an explanation from the poet or critic, to compare my findings to others. (Mentioning this because you have written about the pre poem explanation. )
"I think it's somehow worse
Some of us have simply accepted
In our feeling thoughts hopelessly inflected"
these parts were unclear for me.
Use of modern lifestyle words in expressing the same old anguish of human being was a nice method .
Keep going and all the best my friend
I could see a Vision in your poem and I love poets who use poem (any art for that matter ) as a tool to convey their vision rather than writing poem for just the sake of it, You know like "I know to do this style".
It's well written for me but lacked a little clarity at few parts.
I found that pre poem explanation a little odd, as a reader I prefer to read the poem first and find my own truth in it and after that may be read an explanation from the poet or critic, to compare my findings to others. (Mentioning this because you have written about the pre poem explanation. )
"I think it's somehow worse
Some of us have simply accepted
In our feeling thoughts hopelessly inflected"
these parts were unclear for me.
Use of modern lifestyle words in expressing the same old anguish of human being was a nice method .
Keep going and all the best my friend