My first poem-Plz help

[Magpie]

Hi G, (It doesn't feel right to call you Grim)
This is not bad considering it is your first ever poem. At the moment it's not overly poetic and there is a lot of stuff that can be cut out without losing any of your original meaning. But right from the first line you've got a metaphor which is a good path to be on. I see you've tried to use rhyme, but without any structure to the lines the rhyme doesn't always work and a lot of words feel as though they are there for the sake of the rhyme. Poetry doesn't always have to rhyme. I've left a few notes below mostly concerning what you could take out and then you can develop the rest more easily.

“This poem is a warning and fear about compromise” -- Working title?? It could even be just 'Compromise' just for the moment
If life is an iPod -- Good start and good metaphor to get going
Is it fair to say we’ve left our life’s on shuffle -- not sure how well 'on shuffle' translates to everyone. I'm not a techy thingy. If you were to use that term this line could simply be 'are we on shuffle?' -- Also, use punctuation to help the reader navigate easier.
But here's the trouble
I think it's somehow worse  -- Don't really need these two lines
and have Some of us have simply accepted 
In our feeling thoughts hopelessly inflected
that our dreams everyday are shrinking.
That perhaps  we’ve done too much rethinking
That thought that when our eyeballs quit blinking -- Careful of repeating words unnecessarily, there are 4 'that' in three lines. Read it out loud and you'll hear it straight away and know to change it.
I'll say something on these couple of lines and then I'll leave it at that for the moment because this is the novice forum and we can't really go into great depth.  
"[b]That thought that when our eyeballs quit blinking" -- Do eyeballs blink?? You could say something like...[/b]
[b]When our eyelids have closed for the last time[/b]
[b]will our final thought be.... -- I'll leave you to continue as it is your poem.[/b]
Will we even find all we were seeking
or will they find  us in our cubicles still reeking
As a kid I propose, If life is an a iPod that by compromising
That maybe we aren’t even playing a song at all we’ve picked,
perhaps we've defaulted Instead
Losing ideals our lives our thoughts our head
We’ve just left the thing we’ve fled
Ignoring the problems taking the med
Disregarding our hopes as they’ve hopelessly bleed
Huh there is a lot to be said but
With all this dread 
Even youtube is starting to look a little red

That's about as much as I want to say in this forum but also I want you to write it. You've got the ideas and now a little direction of how it can be taken. Cut away what isn't necessary. If you can cut a whole line out and then read the poem and it says the same without it, then you don't need that line. Only keep what is necessary. Also choose images carefully so that they make sense, what do you really mean by "in our cubicles still reeking"

Thanks for the read, I look forward to see how you develop it further.

Mark