02-18-2016, 08:23 AM
"curb"? in circa 29 ce. Cana, the town has significance to Christians because it supposedly was where Christ preformed his first public miracle, which was turning water into wine, as the wedding party he was attending with his mother had run out of wine. He did so at his mother's urging, so evidently she knew he could do this sort of thing, having done it before, thus the label of "public". Thus our setting is set, and it is set within a New Testament, i.e., Christian story. The speaker is unknown, nor is it known what bone he has to pick, although he does seem to have one.
There is some dichotomy between the first part of the poem and the second (I would delineate it, but we are in mild), unfortunately the key to understanding it appears to still reside in the writers head.
Starting with S4 there is an AAx rhyme scheme, however S6 west-breast seems a forced rhyme.
Probably writing sentences out would avail in seeing if they are in fact sentences. This one seems to be missing a "subject".
"Down the faithful road to the white house where the guests collide, complaining about the wine, the groom, fresh from Egypt and the Jordan, passes with his crowd of lights like Saint Michael over the Nile."
Sorry, but I think there is still a lot of work needed here before this becomes a readable poem.
dale
There is some dichotomy between the first part of the poem and the second (I would delineate it, but we are in mild), unfortunately the key to understanding it appears to still reside in the writers head.
Starting with S4 there is an AAx rhyme scheme, however S6 west-breast seems a forced rhyme.
Probably writing sentences out would avail in seeing if they are in fact sentences. This one seems to be missing a "subject".
"Down the faithful road to the white house where the guests collide, complaining about the wine, the groom, fresh from Egypt and the Jordan, passes with his crowd of lights like Saint Michael over the Nile."
Sorry, but I think there is still a lot of work needed here before this becomes a readable poem.
dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.