02-17-2016, 04:48 AM
Purely regarding the meter, it mostly fits. The only glaring problem is the word 'crystalline.' Unfortunately, this happens to be your very first word, which set the rest off for me. I had no idea it was meant to be iambic pentameter until I read the bottom. I would normally say it as KRIS - tuh - line or KRIS - tuh - LINE, but the iambic meter calls for kris - TUH - line. One syllable words usually can be stressed or unstressed without issue, but there are times you wouldn't want to change the natural stress of one syllable words. I can say more on this later.
If you're the smartest person in the room, you're in the wrong room.
"Or, if a poet writes a poem, then immediately commits suicide (as any decent poet should)..." -- Erthona
"Or, if a poet writes a poem, then immediately commits suicide (as any decent poet should)..." -- Erthona