Dichotomy

[vishaksagar]

Hope this makes more sense.

Edit 1

Flowers fell from her tresses, as she lay on the bed.
His hands reached for her, beneath the lacy red.
Their hearts broke the wall, which had made them two.
Her lips quivered in anticipation; moistened they were true.

Yet he hesitated; there was something amiss.
She whispered those magic words; waiting for a kiss.
He quit the embrace; looking for something more,
blinded by prejudice; unheard was the lion's roar.

Dawned on him one day, to Him, he was drawn.
Taken was he; heart, mind and soul.
Yet remained his body; waiting to feed,
on that pink flesh, beneath the lacy red.




Original

Flowers fell from her tresses, as she lay on bed.
His hands reached for her, beneath the lacy red.
Their hearts broke the wall, which had made them two.
Her lips quivered in anticipation; moistened they were true.

Yet he hesitated; there was something amiss.
She whispered the magic words; and he just said hmm.
Quit the embrace; he did, looking for someone more,
blinded by prejudice; unheard was the lion's roar.

Dawned on him one day, to Him, he was drawn.
Taken was he; heart, mind and soul.
Yet remained his body; waiting to feed,
on that pink flesh, beneath the lacy red.




Hi all, I'm new and welcome all help I can get.
Two things that really bother me are formatting and punctuation. Help.
Thanks