02-11-2016, 01:59 PM
Thanks for the wine, Achebe! I'll have to let this one mull, mainly since this is more structured than my usual, but I have to note that for this draft, the double use of hallowed and the recurring alliteration means it refers to the same person, brother being used here as cousin. (thus, why the second line would keep starlight, but probably not bright and blinding -- and the river Jordan, the imitating the Paskha, and the specific metaphor there being all very, literally, appropriate) I may have failed, but for this one, I wasn't just referring to the Bible....
And, additional, but not-entirely-serious note: I like saying that tears perfume, makes them smell like something.
And, additional, but not-entirely-serious note: I like saying that tears perfume, makes them smell like something.