Materialization of a dream

[Erthona]

Is it a fabrication of our awareness?
Is it matter we elect to discern?
Is it befitting the segments we can not recognize?
If I can sense then I can perceive, what does this imply for a man destitute?
What is a dream?

When people choosing to ponder beyond the waking dream,
a moment will come where when the dream is no more,
that moment approaching, yet considerably distant, (awkward syntax
though distant, that moment is approaching; semicolon/period)
lost in the sea of our own self exisitance(sic: self-existence),
a dream of dreams, a dream of will, a dream to transpire, a dream to our own selves. (gobbledygook, long winded , says nothing)

I'm not a poet, I'm not a writer,
I am intuition, I am perception, I am concrete,
I relish the time individually all will dream.

(Last part sounds too much like "Shark boy and Lava girl")

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Using spell checker is an essential prior to posting. Asking questions (S1) is a rhetorical device not a poetic one; since this is not a speech, long lists of questions should be dropped (it would even be a dubious choice in speechifying).

The idea that life is awaking dream is a well covered idea (see Plato's "Republic" (circa 400 BCE), the "Cave Allegory"), to revisit the idea, something fresh in terms of perspective needs to be brought to the table, this did not occur in this poem. Instead the poem was unfocused and was more about stringing together loosely associated ideas. Certainly this topic could be handled within the framework of a prosy, although difficult, the approach here is much more akin to philosophy when using rhetoric as a device, (see the use of dialogues, or didactic approaches in philosophy). More simply put, poetry is said to show, not to tell. This poem tells.
Of course writing in this style is more or less a rite of passage for most male poets I think, it certainly was for me. Hopefully the writer of this poem will not stay stuck in that phase quite so long as I.  

Welcome to the site,

Best,


dale