01-31-2016, 10:56 PM
Thank you all for your comments.
I have replaced one “now” and one “simple” with “honest”
What probably doesn't come across clearly is that this is about an elderly couple who have lived together many years. (although old age is mentioned). The “pleasure” is therefore a diffuse feeling providing a warm glow triggered by memories of a lifetime.
I would admit to a certain blandness – it is meant to be a gentle expression of affection in old age rather than the passions of youth, so perhaps it was always going to be unexciting.
The question of cliché arises. It has been suggested that ordinary love poetry is rather over produced and so perhaps clichés easily find their way into such poetry. I'm just pleased and satisfied that the poem has generated interest and been generally well liked – thank you all again
I have replaced one “now” and one “simple” with “honest”
What probably doesn't come across clearly is that this is about an elderly couple who have lived together many years. (although old age is mentioned). The “pleasure” is therefore a diffuse feeling providing a warm glow triggered by memories of a lifetime.
I would admit to a certain blandness – it is meant to be a gentle expression of affection in old age rather than the passions of youth, so perhaps it was always going to be unexciting.
The question of cliché arises. It has been suggested that ordinary love poetry is rather over produced and so perhaps clichés easily find their way into such poetry. I'm just pleased and satisfied that the poem has generated interest and been generally well liked – thank you all again