The Dandelion

[Brujo]

Greetings!  Here are some notes I have.  


To the Narcissus I don’t compare,

But dare I say, there still is beauty in my golden shades.

I’m here for just a few days,

Only to wither away, leaving some kindred in my short wake.  Sounds a bit awkward 

But you come at me with a battalion of spades,  'battalion of spades' reminds me of alice and wonderland

What have I done to earn your rage?  

I like lines 1 &2.  I would scrap the rest.  I would keep the concept of lines 3 & 4 (brevity of life ect.) and lines 5 & 6 ( scorn of the Gardner)  and expand them with sensory imagery.  Try attaching more emotion to the dandelion.

-Nick