01-10-2016, 02:28 PM
I've looked at this poem a few times each day trying to find a way to respond to it. This has not been easy. I'm not sure if that is a good thing or not. As far as critique goes, I'm really only questionable on some of the line breaks, as I can't find a reason for them to be one way instead of another (lines 9-11). Possibly, the fact that I can't reason on those line breaks might be why I see this piece as just memory. If that's primarily what this poem is, then I see nothing wrong with it, nor would there be anything I think needs much improvement.
If you're the smartest person in the room, you're in the wrong room.
"Or, if a poet writes a poem, then immediately commits suicide (as any decent poet should)..." -- Erthona
"Or, if a poet writes a poem, then immediately commits suicide (as any decent poet should)..." -- Erthona