01-07-2016, 07:46 AM
(01-06-2016, 12:40 PM)emyleerose Wrote: I really love the first three stanzas. I think you did a wonderful job starting with something exciting. You really catch my attention there. In the fourth stanza instead of saying "Preparing to span that ice" I think you could say " Preparing to span the ice. That way I think it reads and sounds better.Emyleerose, I chose to use "that" ice rather than "the" ice in hopes of conveying the cliché, "treading thin ice". Apparently it didn't work. lol I will take your suggestion into consideration. Thank you for reading it and for the feedback.
TB