01-01-2016, 10:46 PM
I have been struggling through this and I can't quite figure it out all over.
There are parts I quite like but somehow it's missing some flow; the beginning line is awesome, a secret patio!, but then somehow the rhythm seems to fail. I might be off myself, though. I would consider more along the lines of starting with Sanagans Meat locker...
Sanagans Meat Locker hid a secret patio that smelt of freshly cut pine
The rest is a nice set of images I don't understand but enjoy. It gives me a feeling I get similar to trying to understand Wallace Stevens poetry.
However by the conclusion, I do wonder overall, "But what of it?"
There are parts I quite like but somehow it's missing some flow; the beginning line is awesome, a secret patio!, but then somehow the rhythm seems to fail. I might be off myself, though. I would consider more along the lines of starting with Sanagans Meat locker...
Sanagans Meat Locker hid a secret patio that smelt of freshly cut pine
The rest is a nice set of images I don't understand but enjoy. It gives me a feeling I get similar to trying to understand Wallace Stevens poetry.
However by the conclusion, I do wonder overall, "But what of it?"