11-24-2015, 09:13 AM
There is a connection b/w S1 and S2, not S2 and S3.
The issue is that Yeats-like, if he 'spiralled into control of his verse', then he wouldn't 'piss on the grave of the unknown soldier'. The two sentiments are very different.
That is the chief problem.
The space-time situation doesn't need explaining - it's obvious to anyone what you're trying to say.
As I said, overall it's a pretty good pome.
The issue is that Yeats-like, if he 'spiralled into control of his verse', then he wouldn't 'piss on the grave of the unknown soldier'. The two sentiments are very different.
That is the chief problem.
The space-time situation doesn't need explaining - it's obvious to anyone what you're trying to say.
As I said, overall it's a pretty good pome.