Nightmare Song

[Minu]

Ronny got cancer of the asshole  - I'd actually change it to arsehole. Though a UK term it carries more weight than simply asshole, particularly with the rest of the poem's theme
and had to have it removed. - what had to be removed, his ass? Clarification is needed.
The space-time situation - hello? Is he an alien, time traveller?
when he sat - so the cancer was removed and every-time he sat down there was a space-time situation. Did he blast off with a fart or something?
afterwards, alienated him
from this world
 
of beer and women -- does he open a can with his ass & love a woman with his butt-cheeks?
and the tough-guy sports. -- what sports? The ever elusive game of "douche ball"?
Like W.B. Yeats with a toothache - we go from ass ache to tooth ache.
Ron spiralled into control - five seconds ago he appeared to be on the bottom rung with no control over anything.
of his verse.
, their bodies)
 
: and after coming back from the war - ... we got from cancer of the ass, to blasting into space with a fart, add on a toothache and now he's back from war. What is it?
he laughed in the faces of heroes; - he's blasting into space with a fart, I think it's the other way around.
suffering is long, and time is fleeting - true, though it seems he has lived more than his fair share of farces than anything.
he said,
as he stood up one final time
and pissed on the graves of the Unknown Soldier. - here's why you change it to cancer of the arsehole, he's a down and out guy bemoaning he's an arse.
 
 
                                        —Nightmare Song
  

I suppose it would do for a little light snooze. However, it is disjointed and rambling with little to no connection between the different stanzas and so makes it hard to read. Without seeing it as a whole poem each separate stanza could apply to three separate men instead of one. The only connection throughout the entire thing is the first line about cancer and the line about him standing up a final time seeing as cancer is more often than not fatal.