Plunge

[rayheinrich]

Plunge - 3rd edit

She stands, all but bare,
her backyard and pool her sanctuary.
A cool breeze caresses her back,
watching the ripples cross the surface.
As dawn's first warmth peeks from the fence.
Reminding her of decisions gone by,
much like the one ahead.

The plunge is icy,
the discomforts of a hard change.
The burn of exhaustion will ease the strains.
Her toes on the edge, the sun on her back,
questioning how choices and courage stack.
Recompense for deception her only call.

Well... talk about coming in late. But I liked your poem and saw your comment at its bottom:
"I feel like I am going in the wrong direction with these edits and it is becoming a mess... "

I just hate it when a poem refuses to obey. It's like they've grown resentful of your constant pinching
and poking and have decided to seek revenge. When remodeling doesn't work, maybe gutting and
rebuilding will. While only you can gut it properly (the best slicing requires your subconscious),
here's a "gut" example:

standing / bare
sanctuary / pool
her back
watching ripples
dawn
past decisions
future decisions

icy plunge
changes are hard
exhaustion distracts
toes, edge, sun, her back
choices reveal courage
deception / atonement / decision


Cheat the dustbin!